Ten non-commandments.

The first: freedom.
The second: uniqueness of individuality.
The third: love.
The fourth: meditation.
The fifth: non-seriousness.
The sixth: playfulness.
The seventh: creativity.
The eighth: sensitivity.
The ninth: gratefulness.
Tenth: a feeling of the mysterious.

These ten non-commandments constitute my basic attitude towards reality, towards man's freedom from all kinds of spiritual slavery.

Osho: Beyond Enlightenment, #23

• The Texas mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the California mouse, and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

  The California mouse orders up two shots of tequila drinks then downs one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Texas mouse, and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

  They both turn to the Canadian mouse. The Canadian mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long burp, and says to the two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. Gotta go home and screw the cat."

• Mulla Nasrudin was drunk and at a football game was making such a nuisance of himself that the people around him threatened to call the police if he didn't sit down and shut up.
  At that he shouted, "show me a policeman, and I will show you a dope."
  The words were no sooner spoken when a big six-foot policeman arrived on the scene and said: "I am a policeman."
  "Wonderful!" said Nasrudin. "I am a dope!"
  
  
• Three Christian monks met on a road. One said, "As far as scholarship is concerned, our sect is the most scholarly, the most philosophical. Nobody can compete with us in theological matters." The second said, "You are right, but as far as ascetic practices are concerned, you stand nowhere compared to us!" The third laughed and he said, "You are both right, but as far as humbleness is concerned, we are the tops!"